I'm still so infuriated I can't be bothered to construct a proper post so instead I'll just list the events of the day.
12pm - Joe phones the St. Moritz Swiss Restaurant to book a table for the game, he's told that he doesn't need to book and it will be fine to just turn up - we're sceptical.
3.45pm - Joe and myself set off for the Czech and Slovak club in West Hampstead - more to follow.
7.18pm - After watching a thoroughly good game of football with quiet but welcoming people we arrive at St. Moritz with Leah and Kev.
7.20pm - As we are stood around looking for a seat the Swiss-German manager delivers a diatribe of German to Kev who, not being fluent in Germanic languages, just nods a little and walks away - note, we've been here less than five minutes.
7.23pm - Just as we've sat down and organised ourselves the same manager brings a waitress over to present Kev with his bill "this is the man, Bratwurst" he says - we're confused we tell the waitress we couldn't possibly have had a bratwurst in the five minutes we'd been there.
7.25pm - Joe was told there was no food in the bar area (the bit showing the football) so we were delighted to find "Euro 2008 special" menus scattered about the place. We're all hungry, especially Leah so she attempts to order. The manager (yes, him again) says "the waitress will come round but the restaurant must take priority over the bar for food"
7.35pm - The waitress has not been seen so Leah again attracts the manager's attention, he looked a little like this:but maybe he didn't have the bear face on, I can't honestly remember.
Anyway he just re-iterated his point that "The restaurant takes priority wah wah wah...". We suggested that maybe he, or the waitress, could take our order and prioritise it accordingly.
No, rules and regulations must be followed.
8.20pm - Leah is on her last gasps of energy so we send Denning to get some food - he comes back with two packets of nuts, it's a start.
8.32pm - Halftime and I venture to the bar to ask about ordering food "A waitress will come round" he says - I wonder if she's been knocked out by the bear. I enquire as to the wine list "we have house white wine and house red wine" - wow, I take the white and a bag of crisps.
9.32pm - In a moment which to outside observers must have appeared like the meeting of Stanley with Dr. Livingstone the waitress appeared. "You want to order food?" she says. We did but now we're only ten minutes away from going upstairs to the restaurant for some fondue. Leah enquires if we could just have some rosti (the special menu has rosti with everything: bratwurst, salad, toboggan ) but we're not allowed that. We send her away.
9.47pm - Yay, Turkey won - the Swiss hadn't really endeared themselves to us.
9.50pm - We've journeyed upstairs to the restaurant and we ask for a table for five. "No, no tables free". There was clearly a big reserved table not being used and some other people were just finishing up. Considering this Joe asks if it would be worth our while waiting say ten or fifteen minutes. "No, no tables" - we get the feeling we're not wanted despite having spent a decent sum in their bar already.
9.53pm - We're waiting outside on Wardour St trying to decide where to go. Leah really wanted the fondue however so she goes back in for one last attempt. By talking directly to the customers then the waitress she manages to secure the table of the people that were just leaving. When she comes outside to tell us guys we're less than impressed. Remember it was only a couple of minutes ago that the same waitress told us it wasn't worth our while waiting. We leave in disgust - no one crosses us.
Having read the reviews here (and on numerous other food sites) I can understand this now. We certainly won't be going back there - they attitude stunk as much as the musty cellar bar.
Well done Turkey.